Tuesday, September 3, 2013

MTV VMAs 2013: We Grade the Fashion

Who hit high notes (yay, Katy Perry!) or tripped up (not so super, model Erin Wasson)
Miley Cyrus in vintage Dolce & Gabbana
She may have twerked on the red carpet, but Miley Cyrus looked like she'd just come from a tribal dance class in her bejeweled crop top and tights. C+

Katy Perry in Emanuel Ungaro
''I'm just tryin' to bust a little Angelina Jolie up in herrrr,'' said Katy Perry, as she showed off the thigh-high slit on her Emanuel Ungaro leopard-print dress. Ms. Perry, you're no Angelina Jolie, but you do look fantastic. (And I'm going to pretend you didn't wear that ridiculous grill.) A-

Macklemore
He wears your grandpa's clothes, he looks incredible, he probably got that big ass fur stole from the thrift shop down the road. B-

Lady Gaga
In 2010 she shocked us with her bacon dress, but this year (save for the tuna net trawling behind her) Gaga was a shadow of her former red carpet self. Sure, she looked glam, but I miss the days when lunch meat was acceptable attire for the VMAs. B-

Lil Kim in Anthony Latimore
Welcome back to the VMA red carpet, Lil Kim! It's so nice to see you, and thank you for knowing better than to dig that one shoulder jumpsuit and nipple doily out of your closet. C-

Richard Simmons
Richard Simmons tweeted that people kept confusing him with Russell Simmons. Must have been because he wore long pants instead of his usual bedazzled gym shorts. D

Jennifer Hudson
Jennifer Hudson certainly knows how to dress her sexy, svelte body, I'd just wish she'd learn how to dress her age. This houndstooth top and leather skirt combo is a little too cougar-ific, am I right? B

Rita Ora in Alexandre Vauthier
The umbrella holder is so VMAs 2008. (What's up Fonzworth Bentley?) 2013 is all about Rita Ora's train carrier. Just one thing, this isn't the Oscars. C+

Selena Gomez in Atelier Versace
I love, love, love this peek-a-boo bustier gown, but I would have liked it even more without the sleeves. I'd also like to teach Selena how to say the word ''atelier'' correctly. If you're old enough to wear a designer dress, you should know how to pronounce the name of the designer. A-

One Direction
When I look at the British boy band, I imagine their stylist hands them each a pair of black skinny jeans (which she buys in bulk) and then lets each one pick what to wear on top. Their collective look ranks a ''Meh'' on my fashion scale, but I'm awarding them additional points because I'm terrified of their fans. A

Erin Wasson
Erin Wasson should have her supermodel card revoked for this sartorial disaster. F

Robin Thicke
The ''Blurred Lines'' singer has his signature style down — a Rat Pack suit and no tie ensemble and his hot wife (Paula Patton) on his arm. A

Snooki in Glitz NYC
There's no question that Snooki's slimmed-down figure is sensational. But did she put her dress on backwards? D

2 Chainz in vintage Versace
Dressing like he just raided Gianni Versace's closet is the rapper's style m.o. But wearing the same pants as VMA red carpet co-host Grimes was the ultimate fashion faux pas. C

Shailene Woodley in Emilio Pucci
I'm almost too busy hating Shailene Woodley for her amazing abs to judge her neoprene top and fringe skirt. B-

Taylor Swift in Herve Leger
Is it just me, or does Taylor Swift look exactly the same on every single red carpet? Would it kill her to borrow a bustier and a pair of hot pants from her Red tour wardrobe closet? C'mon, it's the VMAs! C